[x]

dirty little secretShrink-wrapped
vaccum-packed
carefully hidden
way in the back
inside the darkness
parts of me hide
waiting for freedom
biding it's time
as I grow older
I quicken my wit
hiding in humor
as I see fit
I wish to be honest
to no longer hide
but secrets too painful
are locked inside
too dirty and ugly
the years too long
I was a little girl once
and then she was gone

What I miss...I miss you
I miss your beautiful face,
Your smile,
Your laugh,
Your body.

I miss your humor,
The way you make me laugh!
I miss your presence,
You by my side.

I miss your touch,
The feel of your skin,
The way we hold hands.
I miss your smell.
I wish I could taste it!

But most of all,
I miss your love.
No, I miss our love!

But in reality,
I can feel you.
You're there,
In my heart..

I miss you, baby....

My coming out,my pride,my lifeFor most people at Broomfield high school it was destined to be just another day. Not for me though. At long last I had finally worked up the guts to ask out the guy I had been crushing on for the past few months.

That's right, I'm a man who's attracted to men. If you don't like it, tough.

Anywho… I had been leading up to this for a while. One of the traditions that me and my friends had been doing since freshmen year (It was senior year that this was happening) was lunch at the local Wendy's every Thursday. On our last gathering before Thanksgiving, I "came out" to my friends. Sort of. See, I told them I was bi. Not cuz I didn't want

Love's CurseTo confess....
It seems this unholy union had no real purpose
Facing the fire beyond the doors
Bare and defenseless to it's burn

When the song only sings a sadder harmony
And the smoke breathes closer to me
I can no longer fear the inevetable
What love once was...

Has now become a burning flame
A vivid nightmare
The shell of a content soul
Who must bare the cross forever

Pain can only bind my arms behind me
And force me down below the surface
Into utter decay
My shattered exsistence

Only darkess to cover me
Where you've sent me so many times before
And somehow I've always been able to break free of it
The hell that's follow

Our Dance.Follow me, I'll follow you,
We can dance the whole night through.
Your hand in mine, I keep hold tight,
I want you as mine forever and a night.
'Round in circles we go, dancing on the floor.
This is simply amazing but could there be more?
I grab your hand and lead you to a special place,
Where it's quiet-no sound, and I touch your face.
I lean in closer and whisper in your ear,
"This will be the night of your life, have no fear."
As those words leave my lips, I look into your eyes.
I find that you're smiling, but I'm not surprised.
I pull you in closer and press my lips against yours.
You kiss me back saying you want more.
I all

Cutter...When I was a cutter

When I was a cutter I didn't see how sad my life really had to be.

When I was a cutter.

I'd reach for a razor
instead of a friend wishing that way my pain would end.
When I was a cutter.

The cuts bruised my skin and inside my heart I felt though the loneliness would never part.
When I was a cutter.

But one day I realized that my life wasn't bad.

I have great mother and a strong-hearted dad. A brother who loved me and a world so bright the sun in the sky and the moon at night.

No longer a cutter.

I now look at my scars and think how bad it would be if all that self damage ended me.

If I stayed a cutter.

If

Unknown EmotionsIncomplete, my reflection doesn't show all of me,
I attempt and fail to be,
I shake as I walk the think line,
My emotions are not mine,
Inside my head lives each notion,
I understand, not experience each emotion,
Love involves two playing their part,
All I see is the image of a heart,
Then there's rage and anger,
Never have I experienced this, not even with a stranger,
Hesitation is now not know of as a fear,
I don't think as I drink each beer,
I am different, this I know for sure,
Experiencing emotions are just beyond my door,
In this state I have protection,
Give me the cure, the injection,
Incomplete, my reflection doesn't

Are you proud? Are you proud yet,father?
I did as you ordered.
Mother is dead.
Her throat gushing red gold.

Are you proud yet,mother?
I never forgave myself.
I still bleed for you.
I cry your tears.

I'm not proud of myself.
I hate myself so much.
I want myself to die,
To suffer,
To scream.

Are you proud yet,God?
You still don't accept me.
I turned my back on you,
But you turned away first.

Are you proud yet,God?
I'm finally drowning in darkness.
You won't try to save me,though.
I'm proud.

Dear Mom and DadDear Mom and Dad

Lision, i'm sorry for the pain i cause, I'm sorry I'm not the perfect child, like you wanted, I'm sorry if I let you down, I'm so sorry. That I didn't, havn't meet your expectations. If I could I'd aim to pleese, but.... that person, just isn't me. you dont approve of the sites i use, you think my taste in movies, music, and books are outrageous. you think the things i draw are weird, crazy, and depressing. you just dont understand me. who i am, what i am, what i could be. if i could change i would, just feel that love from you. but i cant, so I'm sorry. Pleese forgive me

Sincerly,
Just Me

Wishing He and I,
I and He,
You and me.

Which ever way you say it,
We belong.
Love,Destiny,Fate.
Those words say it all.

Pain,Comfort,Smiles.
That's how it all began.
A boy like me,
Crying on the sidewalk.
A boy like you,
Worried terribly.

A boy like you,
Walking over.
A boy like me,
Falling in love.

But with a girl like her,
There is no boy like you.
I'm left here crying...
I'm left here wishing for true love.

Your Name I'll carve it into my wrists slowly.
Painfully, I'll draw each letter.
In fresh blood, I'll write your name.
I already did it before.

I love you,
Yet you don't care.
I need you,
Yet you don't understand.

I'll carve your name into my neck.
I'll make you proud.
I promise I will!
... Are you proud yet...?

Am I a sinner? Am I a sinner for I believe,
But I believe in something different.
I believe in a God,
But a Goddess also appears.

I want to feel close to nature,
The elements are now my focus.
Am I a sinner for I am confused?
Am I a sinner for I am different?

I do not wish to hurt,
Spirit,Earth,Air,Fire,Water fill my mind.
Those elements keep me safe.
Am I a sinner for I do not follow your path?
I choose to believe in more.

If I am a sinner,
Forgive me Lord.
Forgive me my Goddess.
Forgive me my higher power.

Am I a sinner for loving dark things?
I'm not evil but the darkness brings me comfort.
I'm afraid of being left behind,
Once the

Not OkayIt's not okay.

It's never okay.

And it's not your fault.

You cannot blame yourself for what others have done to you. You can't blame yourself for their choices. They may have told you it was because you needed punished, because you were stupid, ugly, not as good as everyone else. But you are just as good.

Or maybe hurt is all you have ever known. Maybe you don't know any better. It started out when you were so young and innocent. But you're not innocent anymore.

You've been hurt, and you've hurt others. They didn't believe you, and so you pushed them away. They deserved it, for ignoring your cries for help. They deserved it, because you

invisible promisesI can write down words i don't want to say aloud.
I can sing so softly and no one would make a sound.
I can search everywhere,
and ask everyone;
but my confidence will never be found.
If the music fills my head will the thoughts go away?
will the sadness return in an hour or the very next day?
Can you promise that my heart will be fine
and my souls will be okay?

Yes, I am High.So cool.
So high.
So calm.
So alive.

I do drugs
So I can
Understand
Your reality.

You don't
Understand
What I see.

Yellow and green,
Blue and red,
Purple and orange,
Stars and flowers.

I'm loving
Everything and
Everyone.

Make me smile
With black
Raindrops and
Grey halos
Be my angel?

Yes,
I am high,
I am stoned
I am baked completely.
But,
I love it.

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 467 bytes more ▶

More from ~tallyyoungblood

Youwhy am I happy to see you?
You broke my heart
six ways to sunday.
ripped it out
and stomped on it
right in front of me.
and yet you had the nerve
to keep the pummled remains
and walk away
leaving me here
physically trying to hold
myself together.
but...
for some odd-ass reason
here I am
with a smile
as you walk back through my door

We AreSince when was being yourself dangerous?
for it to be ok to ban your union?
to have your race be called "bad"?
to be called weak
or worthless?
to have your children
come home from school
crying
because some kid called them
a bad name
and the teacher didn't help?
Or to be looked down on
because we're teenagers?
To be called a whore
because you're pregnant?
It's utter BS
we are who we are
NOONE can bring us down
for that.

Womenyou smile and nod
say "yes sir"
to every question
ears open
to his every command
eager to please
to make this tyrant happy
too obediant
its sickening
to have no free will
to have no further pourpose
than to serve a man
to be called the weaker sex
you're better than that
we all are

BrokenStanding there
in front of the mirror
my arms wrapping around my waist
hollow
empty
a rough wound tearing open
in my chest
where the heart should be
alone
I see myself
I look pathetic
weak
ugly
an emotional need
a stupid idea
that won't leave
a child
that doesn't exist
plays in my mind
looks up at me
the need tightens
around my throat
till I begin to choak
on my own tears
falling apart
until I'm a broken heap
standing there
in front of the mirror

a bookever relate to a book?
live the scene?
felt for a character?
almost like the book is real.
you laugh with them
cry with them
crush on one
loathe the other
relate to the emotions felt
in each page
like you ARE the character
feeling the emotion.
like it's all happening
right in front of you.
then you remember
with great dissapointment-
-it's just a book.

WhichIs it really better to remember?
or to forget?
to have that pain
marring what stability you have?
or to disappear?
having that memory
slip away
like it never happened?
which is better?
you tell me

View Gallery

Featured in Groups:

#Emo-Club
+ Emo Love +

#wesurvived
Spreading abuse awareness.

#LGBT-on-dA
Open arms and open hearts

#Insomnia-Artists
For art made by moonlight

#WritersAreArtistsToo
Writers of deviantART

#Sex-Abuse-Awareness
Here to help those who need it

#Female-Artists
Empowering Women Artists

Details

Submitted: August 29, 2010
File Size: 467 bytes

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 4
Favourites: 12 [who?]
Views: 267 (0 today)
Downloads: 1 (0 today)

License

Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

[x]

Fingerprints

by ~tallyyoungblood, Aug 29, 2010, 8:45:41 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I'm covered with them
so many people
walk in and out
of my life
I remember each
and every one
the effect I have
on others
is far less significant
my fingerprints
fade as quickly
as I left them
even for the people
I thought loved me
all I want
is to say
"I love you
please love me"

Fingerprintsby ~tallyyoungblood

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Gandhi said, "Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch". I watched Remember Me for the first time yesterday, and it had me thinking about this. and it also touched a vulnerable nerve and my own feelings of being insignificant.

~love4arts Mar 10, 2012 Student General Artist

Stunning.

~tallyyoungblood Mar 20, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

thank you!

!IcarryYour-Heart Aug 29, 2010

Nobody is insignificant.You may have touched someone's life just by saying a kind word that you viewed as simple but to them,it made their day.The thoughts behind this poem are great.Well done

~tallyyoungblood Aug 29, 2010 Hobbyist Writer

thanks for that. the main reason for that feeling is most of the people who said they loved me ended up leaving as if I didn't matter(and most of them are male).

More from ~tallyyoungblood

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

License

Fingerprints

Fingerprintsby ~tallyyoungblood

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style